In the first part of the book, there is focus placed on three key areas, that can really be summed up by avoiding outward criticism/condemnation/complaining, affirming the good in others, and connecting to core desires. We identified some common themes resulting from our discussion on part one. With each of these themes however, I would like you to pay attention to one overarching connection, and that is the connection of each of the themes to our core values and how our core values are violated as a result of these themes:

QUESTION

How to Win Friends and Influence People (Six Ways to Make a Lasting Impression Discussion)

Background:

In the first part of the book, there is focus placed on three key areas, that can really be summed up by avoiding outward criticism/condemnation/complaining, affirming the good in others, and connecting to core desires. We identified some common themes resulting from our discussion on part one. With each of these themes however, I would like you to pay attention to one overarching connection, and that is the connection of each of the themes to our core values and how our core values are violated as a result of these themes:

1. The “good” is often not affirmed, because it assumed
2. Sometimes people don’t want to be good to, or help other people be successful, because it creates competition
3. Many people think their opinion should be valued, and as such, the opinion is deemed as “right,” creating a lot of confusion
4. Social media lets us be more blunt with how we might speak, but also allows us to hide
5. behind our words and our screens. It also creates a reactive environment, where people tend to react without having facts first
6. Criticism can be used as a tool to help people grow, but it is difficult to strike the right balance so as to not offend
7. “I” statements, and monologue-type behavior are generally off-putting, but we are all acutely aware (at least in this class) of our own personal usage and how that influences us on a day-to-day basis

Part 2 of HTWF highlights the six ways to make a lasting impression by doing the following:

• Taking interest in others’ interests
• Smile
• Reign with names
• Listen longer
• Discuss what matters
• Leave others a little better

Discussion Assignment:

There are six themes (above) that we extracted from our first discussion. Please address each theme in the context of the “six ways to make a first impression” presented in Part 2 of HTWF by answering the following questions. Some questions have multiple questions that should be addressed. Please feel free to exercise the same creativity and insight drawing from your own personal experiences in addition to the readings to construct your responses.

1. If the good in people isn’t affirmed, but rather assumed, how might we improve communication by starting to affirm the good that people do? (use examples from Part 2 to support your position).
2. Some people really don’t want to elevate others to a level of success because they feel that it is hurting their chances for success and creates competition. The sixth chapter, “Leave Things a Little Better,” addresses some of this. How would you approach applying this in your own life and how do you think leaving things a little better would improve the quality of life for everyone?
3. Using examples from Part 2, how would you make someone’s opinion feel valued even if you don’t agree with their stance? Short from wanting to punch someone in the face (violence is NEVER the answer!), how can you use those techniques to manage your own emotions when you feel you are dealing with someone who steadfastly believes their opinion is the only one that matters?
4. Criticism has become a “dirty word” in our general vocabulary (again, as a result of our changing norms of our society, that we must not offend, we must value, and we shouldn’t criticize because everyone is important). How might you use the suggestions in Part 2 to help you personally deal with criticism that is directed toward you? How might you anticipate the techniques improving how you might approach directing criticism at someone else?
5. What techniques can you use to ensure you are properly balanced between “I” statements (monologue communication), and achieving proper messaging to those you communicate with? Keep in mind, there’s nothing wrong with “I” statements, unless they clog the flow of the communication.
6. In what ways are core values violated in the themes identified from Part 1’s discussion? How can the techniques presented in Part 2 bring us closer to our core values in the ways we choose to communicate? Why might this be difficult for a lot of people?

7. ANSWER

8. Enhancing Communication and Upholding Core Values through Six Ways to Make a Lasting Impression

9. Introduction

   Effective communication is crucial for building positive relationships and influencing others. In the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” the first part highlights the importance of affirming the good in people, avoiding criticism, and understanding core desires. Building upon these themes, Part 2 introduces six ways to make a lasting impression. This discussion aims to explore how these six techniques can address the identified themes from Part 1 and how they can help us communicate in alignment with our core values.

   Affirming the good in people

   To improve communication, we must actively acknowledge and appreciate the positive aspects of others. Part 2 of the book aligns with this theme by emphasizing the importance of taking an interest in others’ interests, smiling, and using people’s names. By demonstrating genuine curiosity and recognizing the value in others, we create a positive atmosphere that encourages open dialogue. For example, when discussing a person’s interests, we can ask meaningful questions and actively listen, thus affirming their uniqueness and fostering a deeper connection.

   Overcoming the fear of competition

   Part 1 touched upon the reluctance to elevate others due to fear of competition. The sixth chapter, “Leave Things a Little Better,” addresses this concern. By adopting the philosophy of leaving things better than we found them, we cultivate a mindset of collaboration and growth. Applying this in our lives means actively supporting others’ success, realizing that their achievements do not diminish our own opportunities (O’g’li, 2022). This approach promotes a harmonious environment where individuals strive for collective progress, ultimately enhancing the quality of life for everyone involved.

   Valuing others’ opinions

   Respecting diverse perspectives is vital for effective communication, even when we disagree with someone’s stance. Part 2 suggests listening longer and discussing what matters to make someone’s opinion feel valued. By actively engaging in meaningful conversations, asking open-ended questions, and seeking common ground, we can create a space where opinions are acknowledged and respected. It is important to manage our emotions during such discussions, employing techniques like empathetic listening and focusing on understanding rather than proving oneself right. This fosters mutual respect and encourages a healthy exchange of ideas.

   Dealing with criticism

   Criticism, when given constructively, can be a valuable tool for personal growth. However, in modern society, criticism has gained negative connotations. Part 2 provides guidance on dealing with criticism by embracing a positive approach. By actively listening and understanding the intent behind the criticism, we can respond in a more constructive manner. Instead of becoming defensive, we can seek opportunities for improvement and show appreciation for the feedback received. Applying these techniques enables us to develop resilience and continuously evolve both personally and professionally.

   Balancing communication styles

   The book highlights the importance of avoiding monologue-type communication dominated by “I” statements. Effective communication requires a balance between expressing one’s thoughts and listening to others (SOFA 2.0: Balancing Advanced Features in a Hierarchical Component Model, 2006). By practicing active listening, asking for input, and encouraging a two-way exchange of ideas, we can create an environment that respects diverse perspectives and promotes effective communication. This balanced approach allows for smoother and more meaningful conversations while ensuring everyone feels heard and valued.

   Upholding core values through communication

   The themes identified from Part 1’s discussion often lead to a violation of core values, such as respect, empathy, and open-mindedness. Part 2’s techniques provide a roadmap for aligning communication with these core values (Van Lee et al., 2005). By affirming the good in others, valuing their opinions, and responding constructively to criticism, we elevate the quality of our interactions. However, implementing these techniques can be challenging for many due to deeply ingrained societal norms, fear of vulnerability, or a lack of self-awareness. Overcoming these barriers requires continuous practice, self-reflection, and a genuine desire to improve our communication skills.

   Conclusion

   The six ways to make a lasting impression presented in Part 2 of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” offer valuable insights into effective communication and fostering meaningful connections. By applying these techniques, we can affirm the good in people, overcome competitive mindsets, value diverse opinions, handle criticism constructively, balance communication styles, and uphold our core values. Embracing these practices contributes to a more harmonious and empathetic society, where individuals can truly connect, influence, and inspire others through genuine and meaningful interactions.

   References

   O’g’li, T. J. I. (2022, July 26). HOW TO OVERCOME THE FEAR OF COMPETITION. http://sciencebox.uz/index.php/jars/article/view/3464 

   SOFA 2.0: Balancing Advanced Features in a Hierarchical Component Model. (2006). IEEE Conference Publication | IEEE Xplore. https://ieeexplore.ieee.org/abstract/document/1691359/ 

   Van Lee, R., Fabish, L., & McGaw, N. (2005). The Value of Corporate Values. Social Science Research Network. https://doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.956170